One secret found out
by EonaDGM
Summary: Despite everyone knowing me as Lelouch, my true name is Lelia, princess of the Britannian Empire. I have been keeping this secret from everyone around me up until now, especially Suzaku. But accidently getting caught in a battle could just bring that in danger. Gender bender, Fem!Lelouch; Written for a request


**Hello everyone,**

 **back again with another Code Geass story. Only a one-shot though.**

 **For a request of Shiranai Atsune as well.**

 **Sorry it took me so long but I had problems finding a start I liked. And for the past month I forbade myself writing because I had to study for university. I am also working on the last chapters of 'See it from my side'. Hope you like this nonetheless.**

 **And of course everybody else who likes gender bender.**

 **Warnings: Like I said gender bender, Fem!Lelouch, violence and fighting**

 **Disclaimer: I still haven't even finished watching it, of course I don't own it.**

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I sigh as I push the door to the house open. Dragging the huge bag which holds my whole Zero costume, my laptop and every other thing I need for my secret identity through the whole city isn't all that easy. That bloody thing is heavy. And my light body build doesn't make it any easier. Damn I hate it, but it's not like I can do anything against it since I –

"Welcome back, nee-san," a light voice greets me, together with the sound of wheels on the floor.

I smile when I see Nunnally, my little sister, coming up to me in her wheelchair, "I'm home," I answer, "Have you already eaten?"

"Not yet. Sayoko is preparing it at the moment, but she should be finished in some minutes. Then we can eat together."

"Great, just let me put my stuff away. You can go ahead to the dining room," I pat her head and move over to my own room.

Throwing the bag aside, I yawn and stretch, narrow shoulders flexing. With a shake of my head, I pull off my school uniform jacket. I didn't have time to change out of my uniform between the last lesson and the Black Knights meeting I scheduled. Being Zero can be stressful sometimes. Slipping off the rest of my uniform I sigh. At least I don't have to wear a skirt like all the other girls. That short thing would be seriously annoying. Who the hell likes wearing such ridiculous stuff? I certainly don't. Again I am beyond glad that I am hiding my true gender.

Well, yeah, while everyone knows me as Lelouch or the 11th prince of the Britannian Empire (if they know that), I am actually female. Not that I am exactly glad about it. Girls are often seen as weaker as boys in the royal court which was why I originally started to refer to myself as prince instead of princess. My mother and the rest of my family took up on it, so I became prince Lelouch instead of princess Lelia which is actually my real name. No one apart from Nunnally and Sayoko knows of my real gender (granted, the witch probably does too). Well, and the Emperor does as well most likely (if it is important enough for him to remember that is) and the rest of my family (perhaps, I guess even they have gotten confused over my refusal to use the words 'princess' or 'Lelia').

Suzaku doesn't either. I introduced myself as a boy from the first time I met him. I am not sure whether I am glad about that or not because on one hand it would be beyond embarrassing to suddenly tell him that I'm actually a girl and he would probably feel betrayed. But on the other hand… Maybe he would see me in a different light if he knew my true gender. As far as I know he is straight after all.

But Sayoko's call breaks me out of my musings. I pull on a more comfortable pair of trousers and a shirt over the bandages keeping my chest in place and flat enough to be easily considered a boy. Not that I have much of chest to begin with, luckily.

Dinner with Nunnally is nice like always and I listen to her talking about her day. Later I tuck her into bed and stay with her until she falls asleep. I get myself ready for bed. After finishing the newest plans for the Black Knights I feel like my eyes are falling closed by themselves, so I get to sleep as well.

When I turn on the radio during breakfast next morning there are rumours that the Japanese Liberation Front is fighting with the Britannians somewhere in Tokyo. I just sigh and rub my face. Even though these idiots are not under my control, they are still starting to pose a problem for the Black Knights. On one hand it's good if they tire out the Britannians if they are too offensive they are going to get in the way of our operations or bring the people against us. No need to make it even more difficult for us.

I bid Nunnally a goodbye and head over to the school. Yawning and in no real mood to actually attend. Or at least only to sleep through the lessons. I stayed up quite late yesterday after all, so getting the lost rest is going to be priority today. School can wait.

In class I notice that Suzaku isn't here. I guess the rumours about the fighting were correct after all and he has to take part in them. Even though he is on the enemy side, I still can't help but worry about him. A foot soldier can be easily overlooked and even killed between the Knightmares Britannia is surely using. He is my best friend after all and even more to me.

I skip the last lesson and get away from school early to prepare for this evening's meeting with the Black Knights. I asked C.C. to take the bag with my costume over to our main quarters yesterday already so I won't have to drag it through the whole city again. We seriously have to move our HQ closer to the school. And walking through the city already dressed as Zero is kind of suspicious, so that's not an option. That leaves me with dragging the huge bag around every time. Now I only have my laptop with me. Much lighter.

Suddenly a loud rumble shocks me out of my sleepy state. The earth shakes. My eyes widen and I shoot around. Damnit! I ran right to the battle. Or rather the fighting is coming to me. I noticed earlier that the streets seemed emptier than usual, but there are still humans here. So there was no evacuation order.

But before I have time to either ponder over that or curse my misfortune, something crashes in the wall before me.

"Shit!" I yell and hastily duck behind a pillar.

A Sutherland Knightmare has landed in the wall. Gears screech as the pilot manages to get his machine back upright. Just as I want to breathe in relief when another Knightmare shoots around a corner opposite me. I gasp. It's that damned white one! Britannia's best weapon. That bloody Knightmare who messed up my plans more than once already. And here I am without any protection in the middle of a Knightmare battle. Oh joy! My life wasn't already messed up enough. At least I don't have my Zero bag with me. If I get blasted up and someone finds that thing, I would be in more than just trouble.

The older machine throws himself against the white one again. No one is looking my direction so I decide to make a run for it now. But just as arrive at the other side of the crossroad, closer to the white Knightmare now, a small squad of fighters from the Front emerges from the side, firing towards the two machines. Unfortunately they are either not very good at shooting or they are afraid because those bullets are not really focused. Growling obscenities I duck behind a piece of thick wall which the Knightmarees already blasted to the ground. I hear the bullets hitting the hard material. Learn to shoot straight, idiots!

The ground shakes as the white Knightmare pushes it's opponent backwards. The Sutherland's arm breaks and the machine goes down. I have fought enough Knightmare battles myself to know that it is defeated now. And indeed the pilot hits the eject button and the cockpit is blasted out. But before the fighter gives up he shoots a last missile at the white Knightmare. It evades, but that causes the bloody thing to head straight for me! Thank you very much, I hate you even more now, pilot of the white Knightmare!

I jump up behind the boulder and hurry to get out of the way. But apparently the britannian pilot has noticed me and to my surprise he hurriedly turns his machine as to protect me from the rocket. But all he manages is to push me out of the way. I groan when I am harshly knocked to the side and tumble into the rubble around me. Coughing and most likely covered in bruises I straighten myself from the dust. My uniform jacket is ripped at the arm, a small thread of blood running from a cut underneath it. Well, at least I am still alive. Let's try to see the positive side. As unwilling as I am I guess I have to be thankful to the britannian pilot for saving my life.

But suddenly a sharp pain hits my side just below the ribcage. I cry out in shock and fall to my knees. A hand immediately goes to that place and I see blood on it. My eyes widen and wander to the shooters on the other side of the road. I gasp and cough as I try to get myself steady again, holding onto one of the boulders around me. My hand is still pressed against the wound, blood running between my fingers. Damnit! I need to get to a hospital. I'm not C.C., a gunshot wound can actually kill me. But I can't leave Nunnally alone and I still haven't reached my goal.

I only notice vaguely that the white Knightmare above me wheels around harshly and blasts the gunmen away with more force than needed. Then the machine stops right next to me. I hear a cry while the top is opened. A figure descends from the white Knightmare, the pilot jumps out hurriedly. As soon as his feet hit the ground he sprints over to me. He is shouting my name in a panicked voice. I wonder how he knows it though, it would be bad if every soldier in the britannian army knew who I am. But when he comes closer I understand.

My eyes widen. That's Suzaku! He was the one who was piloting the white Knightmare the whole time! The one who interfered with my plans. Why? I know I have no right to feel betrayed but I do. Unfortunately I don't have much time to think about that as I fall against the stone, coughing again, because of the pain.

"Lelouch!" he screams again, as he kneels next to me, "Oh god! What were you doing here?"

"I was looking for something to buy Nunnally," I lie, "And suddenly that Knightmare came out of nowhere."

"I'm sorry," he babbles, "I am so sorry that you got dragged into this. I would say you have more than enough problems in your life already."

'You could say that,' I think sarcastically.

He pushes my hand from my wound, "Shit! He really hit you badly. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," he presses against the injury, causing me to grit my teeth.

"You can't protect everybody," I breathe out.

"I know, I know," he reaches behind him to pull up a first aid kit, which I guess he brought from his Knightmare, "But I swore to myself that I would protect you. You're… You're special to me after all."

Despite the situation I can't help but chuckle, "That nearly sounds like a love confession, you know?"

To my surprise he blushes hard and turns away, his hand still on my wound, "And what if it were?"

My eyes widen and I can't help but reach a shaking hand (both from pain and surprise) to his face, "Then I would be very happy."

"You would?" his emerald eyes turn to me, shining with hope.

"Yeah, because I feel the same," I smile painfully as he brightens up, "I – "

But I am broken off when a harsh cough shakes my body, spiking pain through me. I press my eyes closed and suddenly feel some liquid pooling in my mouth. Another cough causes some of it to drop past my lips. I see Suzaku's eyes widen panically and when I touch said liquid I see red on my fingers. Definitively not good! And the brunette thinks the same, because he hurriedly takes some band aid out of the kit.

"I have to bandage your wound or you're gonna bleed out," he says nervously.

I agree. But I immediately twitch away when I see his hands gripping the edges of my jacket. No, please not! The shot earlier ripped my bandages apart as well. Even if he wouldn't have noticed my feminine figure with them still on, he surely will now if he takes my jacket off. I don't want him to find out! Not now. We just (kind of) got together (well, hopefully). If he finds out my true gender now and that I lied to him the whole time, he is surely going to change his mind. My hands finds themselves on his, trying to push them off. But another cough interrupts me and Suzaku simply pushes my shaking fingers away.

"I have to take your top off. I can't reach the wound properly otherwise. I'm sorry," he apologizes.

"No, don't," I cough, but he has already pulled the black material apart.

So I just close my eyes, resigned to my fate. I only hope that he won't hate me too much after he finds out. He runs his bloody fingers through my hair, to soothe me I guess. But nonetheless he is already unbuttoning my dress shirt. The bandages from around my chest fall away as soon as he pulls the white fabric aside. I let out a pained sigh, which turns into a cough again, causing more blood to run down from the corner of my mouth. Pushing the bloodied wrappings away, Suzaku's hand suddenly stills.

"Lelouch? No offense, but what is that?" he sounds nervous.

I just keep my eyes closed, not wanting to see his expression. Apparently surpassing the main shock, he takes some band aids up. He presses a pad against my side to slow the bleeding. His hands run to my back to do the same thing there. Then he starts wrapping the area tightly. But he continues to question me.

"Why does it look like you have breasts, Lelouch?" he growls.

Feeling my head getting foggy from blood loss, I mumble out, "Because that's what they are."

His hands immediately freeze for a moment, then continue their work, now with a slight shake to them, "But why do you have breasts? You're a boy, right?"

"No," I breathe, eyes slowly closing, "Not really, I was just – cough – pretending to be. It's easier."

"You were hiding your gender?" he asks incredulously, "The whole time…"

"Yeah," my lids are now completely down and I can feel my consciousness fading, "I'm sorry… Don't ha… hate me…"

He shoots up and focuses on my face, "Lelouch?" seeing my eyes close he gasps, suddenly grasping my face, "Lelouch! Wake up! Open your eyes. Come on, stay with me! Lelouch!"

He shouts something more but I can't hear him because everything goes black. The last I see his is panicked face, the anger still in the back of his emerald eyes, but currently pushed into the background by worry. At least he still worries about me despite my lies…

One week later I am back in my house. Apparently Suzaku brought me to a hospital after I passed out. I had to stay there for about five days until I could convince them to let me go home. Only if I take my rest though, so I am on house arrest for at least another week. Great. I have to leave the organisation of the Black Knights to Ohgi and that stupid witch. She laughed herself silly when she heard my story. Damned bitch! The Black Knights have to lay low at the moment anyway. That attack the Japanese Liberation Front launched only enflamed everyone's tempers. Britannia is on super-high alert and I am not sure even I could have success with any operation, but with me being confined to my rooms any action could only end in disaster. So I ordered them to stay put for now. Of course they were not happy. Well, neither am I but for now I will have to stay here.

I'm doing it mostly for Nunnally. She looked so afraid when she came to visit me in the hospital the first time. She was worried when I didn't return that evening. It was still me who called her the next day and had tell her what happened. I'm pretty sure she dropped the phone when I said that I got shot. Sayoko drove her to the hospital immediately. Nunnally has visited me there every day. Even the others from school came. Apparently my sister told them what happened to me so they visited me (even if only to laugh at me like Milly did).

The only one who didn't come is Suzaku. In all honesty I haven't seen him since the fight. Not that I blame him though. I get it and I'm over it. Well, mostly. Nunnally did ask me why he didn't come, so I told her that he found out about my gender. It would still be nice if he at least would have visited once to make sure I'm still alive.

So at the moment I am sitting in my bed, bored to death. I am typing on my laptop, researching one thing or the other. Suddenly someone knocks on my door.

"You have a visitor," I hear Sayoko's voice.

Thank god, something is happening, "Come in," I say and close the lid of my laptop.

I hear her light steps moving away. To my surprise though the door doesn't open immediately. It takes some time and even then it's not much more than a slit. I raise an eyebrow and lean back against my pillows. Then a head peaks in through the door, followed by a lean body. My eyes widen at the ruffled brown curls. Suzaku! I have no idea what to say to him. So I just look away from him. He steps in with a tight face, too many emotions playing over his features. I hear him step up next to the bed and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," I involuntarily release, "for lying."

"So you really are a girl?" he asks, frowning.

I only nod.

"But you introduced yourself as Lelouch, a boy, when I met you."

I gather enough courage to look him in the eyes, suddenly feeling defiant, "Yes."

"Why?"

"Why what? Why did I hide it? Or why did I introduce myself with a wrong identity?" I scowl.

He frowns deeper at me, "Both."

"You have it easier as a boy in Britannia. In the royal family even more so. Any princess apart from maybe Cornelia is seen as little more than a pretty puppet who they can use and at some point marry off to strengthen or form alliances. I kept it on because it was easier to hide my identity with wrong gender after I had to," I explain with a strong voice.

"So you pretended to be a boy even before you went into hiding?"

"Yes, though they knew I was a girl."

"So who are you really?" his eyes fix on mine, fire blazing in the emerald depths.

"My original name is Lelia, princess of the Britannian Empire," I answer, trying to mimic my father's haughty voice.

His eyes turn away, "Why did you lie to me all that time?"

My chest tightens at his tone, "I had to go into hiding, so it was better to stay with my male persona. There were moments where I wanted to tell you but it was just never the right time. At the beginning I didn't trust anyone enough to tell them that secret. And well, later I knew you would feel betrayed and hate me if I told you."

He is silent and I am looking the other direction stubbornly. Nonetheless my fists are clenched in the blanket covering my legs. The wound in my side has started to twinge again. I don't want to hear him say that he hates me now. But when he doesn't say anything for quite some time I get angry. Just get it over with and piss off.

"You know that's exactly how I feel now, betrayed," he starts, but I break him off before he can say more.

"I get it alright. I know you hate me for lying to you and I understand it. Just say it and leave. No need to rub it in. As far as I can tell you haven't told anybody else for which I am thankful. Thank you for saving me as well. So you got that now, you can leave and never have to talk to me again," I growl at him, my purple eyes still averted.

What I don't see is his face going from confusion to anger and then understanding, maybe even amusement. To my surprise I suddenly feel a hand grabbing my chin softly. With shock wide eyes my head turns towards him. He is smiling. Only slightly, but he is. I don't understand.

"I feel betrayed and angry, yes," he admits, "But that doesn't mean I hate you, Lelouch or Lelia or whatever."

"Lelouch's just fine," I lower my head.

"Good then," he smiles, "I don't want to hate you because you are too important to me. You know, I was so afraid when I saw you there in the middle of the fighting. And then when I noticed you got shot."

He sits himself on the bed next to me, "I can't lose you, Lelouch. Not in a battle and not because you kept a secret from me. I know you don't really trust people."

"I-I don't want to lose you either," I grumble, hoping he doesn't understand.

He chuckles, "I want you to trust me. With anything. I want to be by your side, Lelouch, no matter which gender you are."

Unconsciously my eyes wander back to his, "You want? Even after I lied to you."

He smiles tightly, "Even then. I am pretty sure you have more secrets which you haven't even told me yet. And so do I, I guess. But even then I know I want to be with you. So what do you say?" he seems almost nervous.

A genuine smile makes it's way onto my face and I lean forward to embrace him tightly, "I am happy. Thank you so much, Suzaku. I want to be with you too."

I more feel his smile than see it when he pulls me close. I snuggle into his neck. For a minute we just let the other to enjoy the warmth. Then he pulls back to look me in the eyes again. He is laughing.

"You know, I am even kind of glad that you are actually a girl. In all honesty I had some problems with wrapping my head around being in love with a guy," he grins.

I blush when he says it but he only chuckles again, then brings his face close to mine until our noses touch. I turn a bit redder and close my eyes. Then to my delight I feel soft lips touch mines. I hold my breath when Suzaku presses against me and I reciprocate immediately. After a too short moment we break apart again and I fall back into his arms, hiding my red face in his shoulder. He laughs softly.

"You should be resting, shouldn't you?" he chuckles as he pulls to lay down with him.

I smile and allow him to hold me close, "I guess so."

"So let's let the secrets wait until another time," he says.

"Huh?" I look up at him.

"I am sure you have some more life-changing secrets don't you?" he grins to me.

I grin back slyly but it's forced. Of course I do. The biggest might just be that I am Zero, his archenemy, just after the fact that I have a mystic power named Geass with which I can completely control persons if I want. Better not think about that right now.

"Not right now," I smirk.

"No, not now. For now I just want to be with you in peace," he agrees and I burry my head back into his chest, sighing in content.

For now I will just enjoy his warmth and scent around me. Enjoy the fact he is holding me and returns my feelings. That he accepts me even as a girl. I will not think that he will leave me as soon as I tell him about me being Zero. Not about the war literally raging in front of our doors. Not about us being enemies. And not about my still unfinished goal of destroying Britannia. Right now it is just him and me in our little world, laying in each other's arms.

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 **That's it. Thanks for reading.**

 **I hope you liked it and reviews are always appreciated.**


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